Am I Onchi?
You’re onchi if:
You can ‘taste’, ’see’ or ’smell’ music. Everything but play it.
You’ve had more than ten imaginary bands that never played a note (über-onchi if you designed record sleeves and made tracklistings for any of them.)
Even when playing in your imaginary bands, people tend to drift away.
You join a taiko drumming circle comprised of twenty people and, as soon as the first beat has been sounded, everyone stops playing and looks straight at you.
You avoid going to karaoke with people whose respect you hope to retain.
You’re a specialist music reviewer and your editor sends you everything (a) from Japan (b) with a Sonic Youth endorsement or (c) featuring monsters on the sleeve.
You file your music collection according to spine colour and/or sleeve design.
You’re not onchi if:
You have no idea what any of the above is about.
